


Remedy

by rinnfey



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 19:41:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6673009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinnfey/pseuds/rinnfey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sleeping doesn't come easy to everyone. Especially you and Kylo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remedy

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is kinda my first attempt at writing fluff with kylo or really writing anything in general. I would love to hear your critiques and comments! But be gentle, I am a fragile person. Sorry for any typos! I read over this a couple times so I think it should be okay!

You’re not sure if it’s the tightness in your chest, the cold sweat running down your neck, or the knock in the door that wakes you up. You practically launch off of your bed, grasping at the dark silken sheets as you try your best to compose yourself before asking who was at your door. It was a silly question and you realize that after asking it with a pathetically shaken voice. Really, who else would come to your quarters so late, or rather early, that you could see the beginnings of the sunrise? You take in your surroundings and find yourself slowly settling back into reality. The clock on your wall is ticking where it should be, the small plant on your desk is blooming as it was earlier today and the cold air on your skin reminds you you’re alive. 

The door sweeps open and immediately he enters, rushing straight over to your side. Seeing your mentor there, bare chested and unmasked makes you feel such relief that you start to cry. “I sensed a disturbance in you and, Gods, I practically lost my mind. Are you hurt? Can you talk for me?” He’s speaking to you softly, almost afraid to scare you any further as he ushers you to move over so he can climb in bed next to you. You shake your head no as you wrap you arms around his torso and bury your face in his shoulder. You’re desperate for the physical feeling of warmth and familiarity he typically makes you feel without even touching you. 

Slightly taken back by your forwardness, he’s slow to reciprocate the action. Normally people tend to run or cower in fear in his presence with his staggering reputation and temper to match. He tries his best to comfort you but very slowly warms up to the feeling of actually having you this close to him. Thought not out of lack of wanting to, Stars knows he wants you to feel safe and protected at all times, he just isn’t the best at what he expects you want. But the way you’re grip on him tightens and how your breaths are becoming more regulated, he figures he must be doing something right. 

You finally find your voice to speak. “I’m really sorry. I just can’t sleep and I think I had a stupid nightmare a-and I don’t know what to do…just…if you hold me I’ll be okay.” “You want me to?” “Yes…please?” With your plead, he slowly tightens the hold his strong arms have around you and the skin on skin contact feels better than either of you could have imagined. Seeing his imperfect and marked skin is a striking but beautiful contrast to the usual head to toe black attire he adorns. A few moments of hushing your quiet whimpers and shifting your body so he can comfortably hold you occurs until you’re both finally comfortable. 

After a few deep inhales and the way he smells lingering in your mind, you speak again. “I know I’m probably not making any sense and I know you’re probably annoyed with me right now…but I can’t explain it. You’re the most destructive being I’ve ever come across in my entire existence and yet I feel so safe here with you. Even now all you’re doing is holding me and talking to me and yet I feel like nothing can touch me.” 

Kylo tries to ignore the pang of hurt he feels in his stomach when you mention destruction along with his name, but he can’t deny the truth behind your words. “You’re going to be okay. I’ll make sure of that. You are safe with me, always. Just close your eyes for me and listen to my voice.” You nod and do as he says. 

He notices that you aren’t really sure what to do with your hands. Even in the vulnerable position you’re in with him leaning up against the headrest of your small bed with you practically sitting on top of him in the bare minimum of nightclothes, your hands remain foreigners between your two bodies. Finally making a decision, you are taken back slightly when he holds your smaller hand in his. You let out a combination of a small sharp exhale and an unbelieving laugh due to the warm infatuated shocks that course through your stomach. 

You finally hear him talk again, this time as a whisper. “You’re so beautiful.” The warm feeling ever since he entered the room hasn’t disappeared from your cheeks, but now your face is practically on fire. Involuntarily, you let out a tiny whimper at his words and turn your face away from his gaze to finally rest your smiling face against his chest. “Oh, now you’re making me blush. Can we talk about something else? Anything?” You feel the vibrations in his chest as he chuckles at your sudden shyness. Pulling you closer to him, as if that was even possible, he makes a humming sound and taps his chin in thought. You giggle at his uncharacteristic and silly action.

“You know, sometimes, I have trouble falling asleep too.” It shocks you that he chose this out of all things to talk to you about and you look up at him with a concerned furrow to your brow. “There are many nights where I lay awake until I see the sun on the horizon, like you tonight.” He lightly teases you while leaning his face close to yours. His heart nearly soars when you don’t flinch as he raises the hand that’s not holding yours to smooth out the crease in between your eyebrows with his thumb. Even when you’ve relaxed, he doesn’t stop, making sure to tuck any stray hairs behind your ear and lightly stroking his thumb across your cheekbone. Normally you would giggle, laugh, and tell him how you feel like a cat being petted by a curious little boy if it weren’t for the raw emotion you see in his eyes as he looks at you. “I’m not sure what it is that keeps me from sleeping. I close my eyes and it feels as if there’s something missing within me. Something that comforts me or makes me feel at peace. It’s as if I’m hollow all the time.”

“Kylo…”

His lips come to your forehead and gently lay a kiss on your hairline to silence you and let him continue. You go back to leaning your head just in the right place on his chest to hear his heart beating. “I feel hollow when I am awake, I feel hollow in battle, and I feel hollow lying with only myself for company at night. But now? Holding you, touching you, feeling you and how you are around me...I feel full. I feel so full.”

If it weren’t for the way he squeezed your hand and ran this thumb across your knuckles, you would have assumed this had been an illusion. Had he really said that to you? His fingers fit under your chin, tilting your face up to look at him. You’re eyes are wide and your heart can’t stop pounding as you study his face for any trace of dishonestly. You find none. The soft look of affection he’s giving you makes you want to sob and you can already feel the sting of tears prick behind your eyes. “You’re going to make me cry.” You tell him quietly and he lets out a breathy laugh. “It’s alright. Embrace what you’re feeling. You’re with me. I understand.”

You feel elated and confused at the same time and maybe his new confession gives you the confidence you hadn’t had before, but you push yourself up closer to him using his shoulders and press your lips to his. Needing to feel even closer, you bring your hand up to his cheek and to hold him to you. It’s then that you feel him arm snake around your back and his hand on your side, grabbing firmly enough to feel his fingertips sinking into your skin. His tongue begs for entrance and you allow it. It’s a foreign feeling. You honestly can’t remember the last time you had been intimate with someone and the thought of doing such things with Kylo made your heart go wild. He feels soft and warm but there’s enough pressure in his kiss to made your eyes roll back into your head. The feeling of his mouth and tongue against yours and his hands roughly kneading at the skin just below your hip is a simply intoxication combination. And as much as you want to allow him to take you now, have you be completely and utterly his for the night and beyond, you know you need to stop yourself when you have at least some of your bearings. 

“Wait, wait, wait.” You press your hands to his chest and try to memorize the feel of his skin under your fingertips. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“ Letting out a breath you now realize you desperately needed you rest your head on his collarbone. “I’m so sorry. I just…you make me a little nervous.” You laugh at how silly it sounds. Both of you had just opened up so much to each other and it’s clear in his words and actions that he cares for you, yet you can’t bring yourself to settle down enough to think properly. If you’re going to do anything with him, you want to feel positive about it. 

In the short time you were kissing and grabbing at each other, both of your faces have flushed and the pink tint to his ears and cheeks makes him look so much younger. You can’t bring yourself to tell him how beautiful he is, and you don’t know why. Another time, perhaps. You want nothing more than there to be another time. He takes a couple moments to catch his breath, slightly disappointed at the sudden halt of action. “Can I still stay?” Words fail you at such a question and you swear your heart breaks. Flustered and embarrassed at your uncertainty with the actions you initiated, you nod your head, not missing the way his shoulders relax with relief. You try and apologize to him again before he cuts you off with a slightly more innocent kiss to your lips. “It’s okay, let’s just rest now.”

Arranging yourselves until you’re both a tangle of limbs, you rest your head on his bare chest for the last time until your eyelids finally feel heavy.

“Goodnight, Kylo. And thank you.”

He presses one last kiss to the top of your head. 

“Goodnight, my girl. And always.”

**Author's Note:**

> There ya go! If you enjoyed this, lemme know! I really enjoyed writing this hella fluffy and self-indulgent version of kylo. they call it fan FICTION for a reason i guess! I'm not really good at writing smut (i am an expert in reading it tho so rec me some good shit pls) so expect lots of fluff in the future with kylo, hux, etc. we shall see. 
> 
> If you want to see more of me (idk why you would) follow my tumblr! rinnfey.tumblr.com


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